One Happy Girl

she was just a girl who thought love was it. she thought everything was easy after falling in love. she did everything for her spouse, cleaned, cooked, worked, cared. everything. she was happy. she had three kids who were beautiful. each had a piece of her whether it be in the mind or appearance, you knew they were her children. she made sure everything went right for them. her friends were jealous of her and her parents were proud of her. she sat on her porch while her children were at school, and she talked to her neighbors, asking them how there lives were. they were always wondering how she did everything so perfectly and how happy she always was. she loved her husband and family and that was her answer for everything. she did it all because of love.

one night she told her children a bed time story about a child who lost their mother. she started to cry. her children were very perplexed they've never seen her cry before, but figured she was ok. she went to bed that night in tears, weeping the whole night. she noticed her husband walked in around 3am, said he was stuck at the office, didnt want to wake her with a call figured she'd be asleep. she spoke with her soft tearful voice, its ok dear just try to call, il wake up. they got comfortable in the bed, one on one side and the another on the another side.

the next day she woke up making breakfast, it was like she was never upset last night. she sent the kids off to school with extras hugs and gave her husband a passionate kiss before he left for the office. she wrote a note before she left and headed off to the lake. she got to the lake knowing everything will be ok. she went into a rowing boat which she did every week at least once. when she got to the middle of the lake there was a beautiful swan. she told it today is the day.

she then dropped the rows into the water and she became one with the lake.

Opening Up

i hate you, you stupid asshole. you ruined my life with your lies and unwillingness to love me. you killed my soul by ripping it out over and over because i loved you unconditionally, and i could still, no i cant. because you were a ruthless son of a bitch, yes a son of a bitch, because your my mom was a bitch. she thought you were perfect and i was the crazy one. and yea mayb i was nuts, maybe i did go crazy at times, but that doesnt give her the right to degrade me like im some worthless piece of shit. because i am great and you are a scumbag a person who deserves nothing in life. someone who rots in hell because you were dirt, garbage to me. and i hate u. i cant stand to hear you voice, bc it reminds me of the times we fought. i cant stand to be next to you because it reminds me of the times you ignored me. i cant stand for you to love me because it reminds me of the times of loved you. im glad your hurting and im glad you cant let go, because its all your fault im still hanging on

boredd. <3

she shows off her dimples with her fake smile

she doesnt want to go home any more

she just wants to find someone to smack her

she just wants to find someone to hate her

she wears sunglasses because she doesn't want to see you

she loves how people spell her name like spears

she doesnt take no for an answer

she gets what she wants when she wants it

she hates drama and gossip

shes a bitch and she loves it

hates her dimples

loves her home

wants someones arms around her

wants love

doesnt want you to see her

hates "britney"

is ok with no

she gets by with what she gets

loves drama and gossip

shes a bitch and loves it

The Ex

Ok, so Laura called me out in my last entry, and I'm going to tell you about one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. During the football season at my high school in 2004 I met Jose. I will never forget it, because one of my friends Dayna introduced us, in a way. We came to watch the JV football team practice, and Jose was leaning on the fence waiting for it to end, since he was done with varsity practice already. Dayna looked at him and said "HOSE-B!" and Jose turned around and laughed, and she then asked if he was Spanish. Now Dayna is known for being ditsy and I didn't know that she knew this kid, so I was like Dayna, what are you doing?! Do you know him? And they both laughed at me, and she said yea, he's Hose-B. Obviously his name was not Hose-B because they were both laughing, so he told me that it was a joke because his name is "Hose-A." This was the beginning of a tragedy waiting to happen.

We were talking a lot through the fall and when December came we were on our first date. We went to the Broadway Mall in Hicksville and had Chinese food, and went to see a movie, Fat Albert. The entire time was a blast, I was able to relax and be myself. He was so nice to me too. He didn't make fun at the stupid things and he paid for my ticket, which I believed should always happen. I even got along with his parents already which to me is very important. So the winter past fast and I was starting to wonder, we never really discussed a relationship, we were going out and hanging out, but I didn't know if what we had was a dating relationship, he was my first boyfriend so keep that in mind. So I asked him one night, and we decided together that it was official we were boyfriend and girlfriend. It was January 7, 2005. I was at my aunts house and it was about 1am.

My best friend Paul was getting really jealous, he didn't like how I spent so much time with Jose. He felt it took from our friendship, but I assured him it was all ok. But then one day around the end of February I told Paul about a fight Jose and I had. It was stupid, because I don't even remember, but Paul went to Jose and told him I was going to break up with him. So like 10 minutes later, Jose came into the hallway and broke up with me, in front of all my friends and was a complete jerk. I didn't understand why, and I didn't find out about Paul until the end of March, when Jose tried talking to me again. We talked about what happened and how it was all a misunderstanding and we were back together, but we weren't dating like before.

I remember my birthday, I was turning 15 and I went to his house before I went to hang out with my friends. There was two of his friends in his grade (11) and then there were another two of his friends in my grade (9). Unless I never heard it, Jose didn't once say Happy Birthday to me, but all of his friends did, even the kids in my grade that I never knew before. It was just upsetting. I understand that's a little stupid, but it was a respect thing for me. So after he drove me to meet with my friends I hung out with Paul, and we just had a good time for my birthday, kind of like "the old times" in middle school.

Eventually Jose apologized and understood where I was coming from. The end of the school year came fast and with the annual carnival coming up every one was excited. The night before the carnival I fell asleep at Jose's on his couch watching a movie. I woke up in panic, but some how he made it all ok. I got home that day, and asked him online if our relationship was going anywhere he told me no.

That night being as upset as I was, I got drunk like an idiot and hooked up with Paul. Of course, since we are in high school, Jose finds out. He yelled and screamed and made me feel like crap, he said he was going to ask me out and make it official again, but wanted me to be surprised. A week later he asked me out. He said he forgives, but never forgets. He said he didn't trust me like he did, but was willing to earn that trust back. Now as stupid as I was, I went along with it. I thought I did do wrong by him, that I shouldn't have done what I did. But looking back on it now, it might have been hurtful, but I had every right. We weren't in a committed relationship, and he had just put me through the pain I didn't think I would go through again. But I went out with him, we were dating like before and June 4, 2005 it was put down. We were like we were before, and that's all that mattered.

The summer went by fast, Jose went to Ecuador in the beginning, but the night he came back he walked to my house just to see me and we spent the entire night together talking about his trip and how I missed him and how much he missed me. It was just a nice way to see each other again, after that the summer flew by. We hung out with each other and some friends, but most of the time it was just us. August came, and Jose was practicing for Varsity Football every morning.

School came fast and so did our arguments, we fought everyday, at 6am about him coming to pick me up, finally I said what ever I'll walk to your house. So every morning I walked to his house. Every morning. Then we fought about how he disrespected me in school, how he was only nice to me when we were alone. Then we fought about how he ignored me in school. Finally we fought about everything, and anything. To the what he wore, to who I talked to, and even about our cell phones. Anything was mentioned and it was sad to be honest, I looked like a crazy idiot half the time, because he would just walk away and I was left in the hallway crying in front of my classmates. My friends started hating him and I started defending him. 10th grade for me, was not like 10th grade for my friends, because I spent the entire year fighting and arguing with Jose.

Finally around the end of November, Jose told me he cheated on me, but then tried to take it back, by saying he was kidding. I went straight to the girl he said, and she confirmed it. I flipped, screaming and fighting, I went nuts. How could he tell me he cheated on me, after 6 months has gone by. He said it was over the summer, and he was sorry and he's done with it now and all the garbage you would expect to hear. I told him, that I loved him, and if he truly loved me back we could fix this. I told him trust was an issue and it was something to earn back and it was not entirely impossible. But he made it impossible, by January he was trying to see another girl behind my back and when I found out, I told him it was over. I told him he disgusted me, and that I could never trust him again. But he kept calling he kept trying to make it better. We talked every night on the phone still, we still saw each other and people still thought we were dating, we still loved each other, but at the same time we both knew I was tired of the bull shit.

Paul called me up one night, he said "Brittany I know you don't want to hear this, but you can't stay with Jose anymore, your only hurting yourself and your hurting me. I love you and the night at the carnival I was going to tell you, but I didn't because of Jose." Well I freaked out. Why wouldn't he tell me the night of who cares about Jose. Paul and I have been friends since forever and he couldn't tell me that. I was furious. But I knew Paul was right, I had to get out of the relationship with Jose. So I broke up with him.

It was raining really bad and you could tell the difference between the tears and the rain drops. So we drove to the baseball field around the block from us. We both knew what was going to happen, so we were silent for a while. I started telling him how I felt, how I believed he was never going to change and I can't be with someone who treats me bad. He was begging for forgiveness, but I've given it too many times. I told him I would not let him hurt me any more and I'm sorry it can't be different.

I then told him one more thing, I said "I'm not in love with you, and I still have strong feelings for someone else." At that moment he started to cry. I said I need to tell you because I don't want you hearing from anyone else, but I still have feelings for Paul. And as I said Paul's name his tears came out faster. I felt like a terrible person, but I knew I had to tell him. We were walking back to the car and I was so overwhelmed with sadness I burst into tears and fell to the ground. Jose ran to me thinking I was hurt, which made me cry harder because from that moment on he did change, but I could never go back out with him.

I broke up with Jose and it might have broken both our hearts, but it changed he's life forever.

Hey Brittany, Why are you messing with me?

hey brittany
why are you messing with me
is your boy on your mind
is your boy in the car
or are you alone
so why
does everything i say just
make you upset
i'm not here to bring you down
but lift you up
lift you up
so yeah yeah yeah
go ahead and lower it down
lower it down
just a little bit
just a little bit
lower it down

so where do we go where do we go
you cannot know
you will not know
when you just have to fight to be alone


hey brittany
where is your engagement ring
did it mean anything
does the boy with the ring
know you bounce bounce
bounce around


so how
am i supposed to act when you're around him
when everything he says
brings you down
brings you down
brings you down
so yeah yeah yeah
go ahead and lower it down
lower it down
just a little bit
just a little bit
lower it down


so where do we go
where do we go
you cannot knowyou will not know
when you just have to fight to be alone


so where do we go
when everybody knows
when everybody starts to bounce bounce bounce around


so yeah yeah yeah
go ahead and lower it down
lower it down
just a little bit
just a little bit


so where do we go
where do we go
you cannot know
you will not know
when you just have to fight to be alone

-forever the sickest kids

----------------------------------------------------
the ex-boo told me to read those lyrics. and well it kinda mad me depressed, at least most of the song.

"These are a few of my Favorite Things"

1. Picture-My BFFs Ott and Dee <3 Love them.
2. OTH CDs- I listen to oth music like I'll never hear it again, The lyrics and tunes are so inspirational. Corny yes, but they pick the best songs for the right scene.
3. Belle- Beauty and the Beast is my all time favorite Disney movie ever, I love how it's all about learning to love someone with out beauty.
4. Pillow- Yes one of my favorite things is my pillow. I sleep all the time, as much as I can, my mom hates it, but it's so nice to just lay in a comfy bed, with my down pillow and blanket and just sleep.
5. Coach- There are 2 coach items in that picture, my coach wallet and coach sunglasses. I have those two items on my at all times. My wallet is my everything because I love it. And my glasses, I wear them at night.
6. Harry Potter- I chose the first book, 1 because it was the only one I can reach. 2 it represents the first of a great series and 3 I love books in general. HP is just one of the favorites.
7. My bag- I don't use that bag all the time, but I always have a different bag on. I love this one because it's plaid! <3
8. My T-Shirt!!!- That is my homemade t, by me. For the last senior hooray! The school is blue gray and white, but class 2008 was red. and i made about 50 tshirts for the seniors. I used to make t-shirts like it was living, but as talented as I am, $ doesn't fall off trees and even though people were helping me pay for them, you always loose money some how.
9. Converse- Love shoes, love love love. I have sooooo many. and I wear my black converses like crazy, though I could not find them because who knows, I used my navy blue shoes to represent the con.!
10. White Scarf- I collect scarfs, I have about 10 different kinds and I love wearing them in the winter! <3
11. Santa Hat- Christmas is my favorite Holiday!! <33 Presents are just a bonus when it comes to Christmas, because being with the family, and enjoying the great food, I don't know I just love it!
12. "B"- It's my inital! who doesn't like the letter b!!
13. "D"- That d is from my High School, which I loved so much!
14. The drawing- I drew that last year, it's my favorite piece that I've drew. I feel like it's one of my best too.

Lovee it <3

Q&A

1. What is your favorite word?
love, because it could be anything

2. What is your least favorite word?
"c u next tuesday" i think it's disgusting now.

3. What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
family, friends, school. can i pick more than one, hopefully. because most of the world gives me inspiration, like a song lyric or my cousins birthday party with the family, you could always find something.

4. What turns you off?
rude people, when some one doesn't say thank you when someone says "God Bless you" or when someone doesn't hold the door open, or when your driving and you let someone go buy, because you felt like it and they don't give the wave to show their appreciation.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
silence when your with someone you love. that it's not an akward silence, you just don't need to say anything because you know everythings alright

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
nails on a chalk board, anything to that sense, i hate it so much i get the chills

7. What is your favorite curse word?
bitch, because i'm ok with people saying i'm one, cause i can be at times.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Sex Therapist, cause I'm good at giving advice.

9. What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
construction, i would neverrrr everrrr build anything let alone pick up a piece of wood.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Are you ready for your spa?"

Who Knows

So guys i've been thinking, why does every one in life go around doing things the way "they should" be done. i think its time people start going nutso on every one. i mean chaos is fun, well it is for me. i was and yes i said was, a crazy bitch, who talked about everyone and their moms, but at the same time everyone liked. people told me stories all their stories, or at least most. and i had a piece of garbage on basically everyone in my grade. BUT WHAT HAPPENED?! well everyone moved and now there's new people, but i don't like what i did in the past, bc i literally tore people apart, and it never came back to me. i must say this is very talented to be able to start a huge fight between 2 people and never be pointed out as the one who started it all. and i miss it like crazy because it was fun, i would feel bad eventually and i would always do something to get the two people to forget what happened. but its fun gossip, and i know alot of people hate it which is understandable. but it is alot of fun, esspecially when the gossip is never about you.

well at least the bad gossip was never about me, except once.my car is lik HUGE (ford explorer 2005), its a beaut. and i had a parking spot in the senior parking lot, which is picked randomly, well one of my friends had one too, and he kinda pulled out of his spot right before me, and i kinda didnt reallize and i kinda hit hiscar and left a hugeeeeeeeeeeee dent ! lik my car=huge his car=a pea. it was actually really funny, but i thats mean. haha were still friends and he now has a big car haha
-----------------------------------
i drank my sorrows away last night
it was going well until i woke up
everyone has pain, like me
a broken heart
a broken family
it's really the way you handle it
i drank my sorrows away last night
and i'll admit, not one of the brightest ideas
-------------------------------------------
but i had fun while it lasted, i woke up this morning with achy legs from walking from wantaghs firedepartment to my uncles house, with my uncle. you dont see that very often, a 350 lbs man in a uniform walking home drunk with his niece. stupidity had a lot to do with it, but still it was a good time. just this morning reminded me of more reasons i feel lonely, i hung out with te cutest kid last night, and im not gonna lie, ive had this crush on him since the day i met him. which is a little over a year. hes so funny, smart, really tall, and i love it. hes just not a relationship kinda kid, he dated his ex on and off, but he was cheating on her.. so i knew that would eventually end. and now that hes single, i would love to be like lets hang out alone, but hes retarded and i know he'd like freak out the day b4. .. i kno this is a little, mushy and corny but i just wanna find some1 i could be my self with.

i think, life's a bitch and then you die.
whats the point in trying to make it to the top.
there is none, just to go with the flow
do what you wanna do, but make sure:
you go to college
get good grades
get a job
so you can buy a nice house
get married
have 3 kids
then get a dog
and maybe another kid
then probably get a divorce
find another spouse
and the you eventually die
well i dont kno if im ok with the dying part
or the divorcing part
but this is how most people live their lives
it's sad but true, but what can you do?
live a true life, never be fake.

Beach<3

Close Connections

No Matter What



I know you think we were just friends
But in my eyes you were more than just that
You were more than a person to talk to
You were more than just a physical attraction
You were more than a pick me up when I was sad

You were more than just my world
You were my everything
You saved me
You were my only one


If there was anything I could tell you now
It would be you are and will be the love of my life forever
But we both know you won't stand to hear it


I promise I'll fall in love again
But you'll always be in my heart


Just be careful and be safe
And always know
I will be there for you no matter what

Photo Project <3

concealment, revealing that i like music, plays piano? , but concealing that i can't really play the piano. and hiding my face.

mugshot
indoor portrait
bathroom mirror pic
marco shot
"hand it to you" .. idk didn't get that one.

Famous <3

after driving home, (al's a little nutso)

after a famous clean up!!

hate, love, stupid people

i hate how people complain about there relationships. like your with someone who obviouslyy cares about you, because he or she is with you they support you and if u find it necessary to hav a complaint about them, to me its 100% annoying. like ive been "alone" for a few years now and it hurts alot and i wish i had some1 to call at the end of the night, but i dnt and if u spoke to me in person you wouldnt be able to tell, bc i deal with it. and i hate when some1 has something to say about their significant other, its upsetting bc they dont seem to see that what they have is absolutely amazing. to be able to tell some1 else everything is a hugee deal at least to me, and i hate when people think its nothing. This person is letting you in on everything, they are opening their hearts to you and your just hurting them if you dont love them like they love you, i just hatee that sooo much people need to start realizing what they have before its gone, because that feelings the worst of all.

weird !?

weird what is weird, to me weird is anything, every1 is weird, yea some more than others, but im a freak. like, i hate the number 7 and writin it is soo annoying i hav to be on the right side to walk on bc my bag has to be on my left and i dont lik my bag hitting up on the person. my alarm clock has to be set to an hour before i really need to get up and my phone needs to be next to me when i sleep. i hate walking on the floor barefooted in the summer and i have to have my pillow and blanket when my friends sleep over bc i cant fall asleep witout it i have to be bout 5 min early the latest when i go somewhere and if im late to school ever i cry im one of the worst to take tests with alot of people bc i cant sit still for 2 hours. my floor in my room is a work of art because i choose to leave my dirty clothes on the floor and other stuff, its nice. my laptop needs to be on when i sleep, and i listen to oth cds b4 bed. i dnt rele go out and when i do 12 is pushing it for me. my mom and i get our friend at the same time every month so we fight, to the point where death could come between us. i've dated an asshole, though every1 does that at least once. i dont lik any type of water except poland spring, i will not drink anything else. i have a couch in my room, and no closet what so ever. im allergic all year round, if im around cigarettes my eyes puff up, and get relle itchy, because of the nicatine. i hate it wen girls are stupid especially blonde girls, stupid blondes just get me frusrated. i have more guy friends then girl friends, cuz girls to be get too bitchy and tend to like to complain. and if i go out to eat with a few people i canntt!!!!!! have the same thing as anyone else, and i perfer that everyone else gets something diffferent. if some1 does get the same thing i always find something thats different to make myself feel better, and i always have to order last. yea theres most def. more but i cant think of any

A Famous Catering

I just got back from work .. yes 11pm. i know sucks. haha, but after working 12 hours you find that you have the strangest amount of energy. Obviously i'm over tired, but whatever I'll go with it. If any things spelt wrong or not understandable, my apologies, I've been up since 7, and i was actually moving instead of being lazy and napping or laying on my computer. I have to upload the pictures i have from this catering i just went on, it was sooooooooooooo muchhhhh fun!!!!!!! We had such a blast, all the people were basically drunk, so we had them to entertain us, and then they had fun performances that we got to watch. It was crazy fun, and our General Manager didn't go so it was like triple the amount of fun you would normally have on a catering. HaHa! My friend who also works there, her names Christina, but we all call her Moose, she's crazy, when i finally get the pictures up she'll be the one jumping in the air in every photo! I can't even describe to how much fun i had, i know i must have said that 500000x alrede but OMG IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! haha I'm usually not excited for work, but tomorow I'm like really pumped. Idk why, but im ready im ready im ready as spongebob would say!

Il def hav those pics up by the end of sat, if i dont feel free to call be a liar! =o

My friend Rob

Robbb, he's one cocky, rude, obnoxious person. But that's Rob. He's mean to people he doesn't know and he's mean to people that piss him off. He doesn't care what everyone else thinks which a great way to live life, but he's ALWAYS sad. I don't know why either. Lately he hasn't been telling me, which freaks me out a little. He's away at college in FL and last year when he was away he was able to still talk to me. Now, when I ask him whats wrong, because I know somethings wrong, he says nothing. And when I say well you seem sad, even when I'm talking to you through aim, I know there's something wrong and he still says nothing, it's like what the fish! I'm suppose to be one of your closest friends and you can't tell me?!? It could be nothing and just him acting miserable for no reason, but he could still make up something for me, now I'm getting worried. He needs to realize that life a pain in the ass some times, but we gotta get over it <33 (dee and rob in the picture)

Randoms <3

PICNIK <3


Hairspray with Molloy over the summer! Photos: Mike Russo

All you need is love. Walnuts, my favorite, because of the heart inside.

Fishy faces in disney, summer 2007. Good times<3

----------------------------------------------------------------------

ME!@#$%

mirrors a little dirtyy. <3

Poem, For Heyy!

Questions for My Ex-Lover

If I told you, you're my best friend
would you tell me who I am to you?
If I told you to never be a dead end
will that make you feel blue?

If I told you how I feel today
would you tell me how you feel tomorrow?
If I told you I could love you all the way
will that bring you any sorrow?

I can tell you all these things right now
but I know they will not matter tonight.
Just always remember how
you could always make my day bright.

Who I Am

I am Brittany Nicole Frenger, born and raised in Levittown, New York. 50% Italian, 50% German. I like to talk, once I get to know whoever I'm talking to. I open up easily, meaning by the end of this post, you will know mostly everything about me. I have two siblings, both younger. My brother Kyle is just a year younger than me, and my sister Kayla is 10 years younger than me. They get annoying but that's what there for isn't it? My parents divorced when I was only 12. I don't remember much before that except I had an ok relationship with my dad. What happen? They fought and fought and fought and my dad would rather be at the gym than home with his family. Finally, the most obvious reason if you've met my dad, well he's gay. He likes men. Now do not get me wrong, I have no problem with homosexuality, if that's who you are than that's who you are, but when it's thrown into your family like it came into mine, it's different.

Thursday's I had dance, I did tap, jazz, and ballet. My dad would pick me up every thursday after dance and we would get pizza. My dad used to own a pizzeria when I was one, so we would make fun of the pizza we ate, but more importantly we would gossip, about life and stupid things. It was our bonding time. For some reason after the divorce, I was unable to dance, it just didn't appeal to me any more, and slowly my dad and I drifted. 8th Grade was the hardest, because that's when I realized how terrible the divorce was. It was a chapter in my life that I wish I never had, but I can't change that.

In 7th grade I met my best friend Paul, we truly did everything together. Both of our parents divorced the same time and we connected in a different way. We knew everything about one another, and I liked it like that. The end of my freshmen year in high school came and Paul and I lost touch, it was really sad, we were so close and we still wanted to be, just I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend and neither of our partners liked us. Shannon hated me and Jose hated Paul after a few months because he saw how close we were. It was a tradegy waiting to happen of course, but we tried to stick it out. I didn't go out with my friends much my sophomore year, because I was constantly with Jose, but eventually I found out that the 2 year older boyfriend I had was cheating on me. Well, we tried to work it out, but I couldn't trust him like I used to, so finally I ended it. That day was terrible. Well Paul was thrilled because he and Shannon broke up a few months before, and me and Paul were finally going to be together, except after a few months of me and Paul talking, just talking, Shannon came back.

Well I said it's ok, because I've waited before, and if he thinks she's better than me, than I deserve to find someone better. Paul and I remained friends which was better than nothing. My junior and senior year I did everything, I drank every thing, gossiped about everyone and took every fun class I could. I had a great time being single, being "free" was unbelievable. I would not change anything.

I have great friends and I love them with all my heart. My best friends Diana (Dee) and Ashley (Ott) are amazing people. Dee is away at college TC3, a community college in Cortland, and Ott is always around, because I got lucky with one of them at home, she goes to NCC. We all are addicted to One Tree Hill (OTH). There have been times where we stayed home doing nothing, but had the best time ever. We all don't like Ott's mom and Dee's parents are strange, as is she. They truly helped me grow into who I am. I don't take their advice for granted, and I respect their decisions in their lives. Dee recently broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years and she knows she's able to come to me for anything, and I'm proud of that, it shows how close you are to someone. Ott, well I'm sure I'll have other posts about Ott.

My mom's side of the family is Grandma+Grandpa-Donna, Christine, Laura, Nancy, Elizabeth, Theresa, Suzanne, and Kathleen (twins in bold). Donna+Joe-Kevin 4, Sean 9. Christine-Julianna 7. Laura+Richard-Brittany 1, Kyle 2, Kayla 6. Nancy-Lauren 11. Elizabeth+Franky-Melissa 3, Louis 5, Michael 8. Suzanne+Kenny-Steven 10, Emma 13. Katleen+Anthony-Nicholas 12. (#-order of grandchild) (italics, divorced).

My dad's side of the family is Nonnie+Poppy-Fredrick, Richard, Mark, Kim. Fred+Diane-Eric 5. Richard+Laura-Brittany 1, Kyle 2, Kayla 7. Mark+Phyllis-Nicky 3, Steven 9. Kim+Tommy-Ginamarie 4, Ashley 6, Thomas 8.

As you can see here I come from a large family, if I was to add the people we see during family parties, well it probably wouldn't fit. I love large families, I love my large family and I can't wait to have my own. Though I'm in NO rush.

I tell you these things, because this is what made me, me. I'm caring, loving, crazy, likes kids, has patients and care-free. All of what I told you just now, are the reasons why I'm like this. Through out my life, I've had to go through challenges to make it. I've made mistakes like the next person, but I'm ok with them, and I deal with them. I take the responsiblity for my actions, and I'm proud of who I am, because I love the people who helped me be who I am.

Be who you are, because you only have one life. <3

NEWS!@#$%^&

i recently bought a new laptop, the studio 17 by dell. im soooooo pumped about it! im using it now, and i love it so much. its so smooth and compared to my old one it actually works. i already put all of my pictures and any documents i had on my old laptop so its ready to go, but all my music is on my other computer and i reallllly dont want to download limewire on this laptop. my friend uses "aries" or something, but im afraid it will mess up my new laptop. oh boy wat to do.

work has improved, i took the server test last night and i passed. haha i didnt serve though because i wasnt on the floor plan so i just bought food to tables for the night , and me and one of my bestiess ordered the new promotional steak we have for free because we ended up having to close for the night as hosts. we also got a delicious bread pudding and it was actually amazing last night. even though ive been so aggravated with work lately, im finally getting happier about it. thank god.

one tree hill, new epi on monday!! so excited. im completely addicted and im ok with that. its really sad though, because i know so much about the show. im realllly excited for this weeks episode. poor brooke and dan =[ but yey!! leyton!! =]

Who is the real me?

The picture with half of Heineken, well my attempt was to get a photo with him, but since he's teething he would rather eat my hand instead of smiling. My beautiful godchild, Lauren. She's a little out there, if you didn't know what creativity meant but you knew Lauren, all I would have to say is her name. She's crazy, and knows everything when she's only three. I love her to death and I'm so happy she came into my family. I have a habit, of taking pictures of my self at random times. For a while I didn't have a recent picture of my short hair on my facebook and that bothered me, so as much as I could I took pictures of myself with my hair down and finally I got the close up one.

The Calm Before the Storm

The wind so care free
as the clouds float on by.
The storm that will be
tomorrow in the sky.

Work Sucks

I've been working at Famous Dave's for about a year. I got hired because a friend got me the job. I was put straight into working in To-Go, which is answering phones and taking take-out orders. It was a thrilling job when I was first hired. Every weekend there was at least an hour and a half wait to sit and eat at the restaurant. Normally the summertime is the most hectic time of the year for Famous Dave's, but this summer was boring. The management was exciting when I first got the job, but now it's like they don't care about the restaurant or even the employees for that matter. Recently most of the employees have been putting in their 2 weeks notices in. I've noticed that every one has changed, they don't love work like they used to. I want to get a job, I can still have fun with.

On going Assessment